Back in May 2020, I started a podcast series on the topic of curiosity to accompany a workbook on curiosity I created called “How Curiosity Brought the Cat Back to Life”. You can find this workbook in the Offerings page of my blog.
I had planned to write an accompanying blog series in June, but June had other plans. Then July had other plans, but August is looking promising!
Would you say that you are a curious person?
I describe myself as a curious person and I embrace my curiosity. Curiosity is actually a really important and helpful character trait, in my humble opinion.
It has been my experience that curiosity is not always seen as a good skill/trait to have. Curious people ask questions. They want to know more. They can make some people uncomfortable.
So, are you a curious person?
Maybe you don’t consider yourself a curious person. Maybe you have never thought of curiosity as anything special. I believe we were all curious at one point in our lives, most likely when we were children.
Children are naturally curious.
If you have children in your life, you know what I mean. They want to know how everything works, why things are the way they are, why the rules are the way they are, and who made the rules anyway?!
My goal with this blog series is to share some thoughts and lessons on curiosity to help you discover your own curiosity so that you can also use it in your every day life.
The months of June and July have often been months when I experience some sort of transition. Big life transitions tend to happen for me around this time in the area of career. Before this year, I didn’t know why this might be the case. But now, I understand that there is some astrological correlations to why this happens to me.
In The Book of Houses by Paul Williams, I learned about using our astrological birth chart as a harvest cycle for our goals and dreams. It details the months during which you should plant your seeds (set your goals and intentions) and the day when you will reap the harvest (Harvest Days) of those seeds. July is the month when I plant seeds, and June is the month when I harvest those seeds.
I didn’t have this book last year around June and July, but I was definitely planting many seeds. A year later, I am seeing the fruits of those seeds and I am glad to say that I will be using The Book of Houses more intentionally to plant my seeds and bring my dreams/goals into existence.
As I am in the process of completing a transition, I am experiencing a lot of fear and doubt. It can be difficult to make the correct choice when your brain is constantly sending warning signs and distressful messages. I am so well equipped to deal with these feelings and messages now.
Thanks to what I have learned in Lindsay Mack’s class, Tarot for the Wild Soul, I am able to understand that many of the fear messages that my brain is sending me are simply not the truth.
My brain is scared of change. My brain wants to keep me in familiar and “safe” environments. If it was up to my brain, I would never make any changes or take any risks. But that is not how life is supposed to be. We are meant to take risks and make changes so that we can grow and experience different things. The soul seeks change and growth and brain wants the comfortable feelings of the familiar.
What has helped me during this time of transition was remembering that I can trust myself to make the right choice for me. I often look to others for guidance and reassurance, and that is not the best strategy to follow. As my partner always says, we are the ones who will deal with the consequences of our actions, not the people who gave us advice, no matter how well intentioned that advice was. So why ask others to make a choice that is only up to us?
I did a lot of soul searching, journaling, and asking for guidance from my Spirit Guides. It felt difficult to make the decision, but once I let go of expectation and trying to control things, I felt that the path was laid out and I knew what the right decision was.
I am working on replacing my feelings of fear with excitement for the new experiences that are waiting for me. I can’t wait to see how I will grow, what I will learn, who I will meet, and what changes I will make.
How do you deal with fear and doubt? How do you handle transitional times in your life?
Most of us have spent more time at home in the last 4 months than we’ve ever had in the past. I was able to work from home for 2 months when the COVID-19 pandemic started.
During that time, Camelia Elias made one of her prompt series on the topic of Home available for free to her newsletter subscribers. I had always been curious about what her prompt series where all about, but had not had the chance to participate. So when she offered one for free, I could not miss the opportunity.
I won’t be describing the prompts here, but I do recommend checking out Camelia Elia’s website and signing up for her prompt series.
While being at home and working on the House prompts I spent some time thinking about my home and how I was relating to the Spirit of my home. I rarely think of my home as having a Spirit. I have spent many years feeling unhappy with the appearance of my home. It has been in a state of “under construction” for more years than I want to admit.
Being at home and thinking about the Spirit of the house helped me shift my perspective and my thoughts about my home. Instead of focusing on what it lacked, I began being grateful for what my house gave us: protection, sanctuary, warmth, space, light, and so much more.
I’m here with a fall recap/check-in. I did not get to write in the blog for September’s Walking With Mary Journey. But I did share about it over on my Instagram account. Halfway through, or maybe towards the beginning, I had a pretty bad cold that left me needing to rest a lot in order to recuperate. During the following weeks, reading about other’s journeys with Mary and Hettienne’s guidance over on her blog helped me continue the journey.
Now in October, I am not really doing a challenge on Instagram. I am just reading cards for myself when I need guidance. I am pulling my daily card using the Tarot of the Vampyres app and recording my daily card on my little monthly calendar. During my more involved readings, I am using the Rider-Waite Smith Centennial edition.
I am also reading through Benebell Wen’s Holistic Tarot (this was one of my Depth Year goals). And for the card of the week, I am using the Halloween Oracle. It is the only time of the year that I feel drawn to using that deck. I am glad I didn’t end up selling it. Today, I had fun looking at the cards with my girls.
This month, I have returned to working with my crystals. I started with amethyst to help me develop my intuition. Then I added labradorite for my magical workings. Most recently, I added a rough agate, that turned out to be a very special piece, for ancestral work.
Labradorite for magickal workings
I am also really enjoying the Priestess Podcast by Julie Parker. I am reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I am watching Inuyasha, a childhood favorite of mine, and I am geeking out over all the magical references the episodes have!
Last year, I found out about a calendar to work with the moon phases called The Moon is My Calendar by April Miller but was not able to get it. I recently preordered the 2020 edition as a birthday gift and I am so excited for it! I can’t wait to deepen my connection with the moon.
I also have a special mala that I use for connecting with the moon. I purchased it from the lovely @bruja_hozanek on Instagram.
It is made of black tourmaline, hematite, tourmalated (tourmalinated?) quartz, and clear quartz. I just love it so much!
What are you looking forward to this fall? Share with me in the comments!
I can’t believe it was only this past February that I first did the Walking with Mary Journey with Hettienne Grobler, The French Maddona. It feels like it was many more years ago that I first did it. Nonetheless, I am so excited to do this journey and join the others who are also walking with Mary.
I am joining this journey again because I had a great experience last time. I loved the community that was built around the Walking with Mary Journey. I loved learning from Hettienne. And most of all, I loved the relationship that I developed with Mary.
I remember feeling hesitant to join last time. I made a lot of excuses about why I could not join. Then everything fell into place, I realized that I had all the materials I needed. I have many of the items leftover from last time, like my prayer shawl and the image of Mary I used las time. I have also gotten a few new items that I will use like my rosewood prayer mala and a handbound book my sister gifted me earlier this year.
If this is the first time you are considering joining this journey and you feel apprehensive about the preparations, please don’t let that keep you from joining. The most important altar that needs to be set up is the one that is inside your heart.
Since then, I have developed an intimate relationship with this divination system. For me, Tarot is a trusted confidant and friend. It’s that type of friend that doesn’t give you the answers and tells you what to do, but instead helps you figure out what YOU really want to do and helps you find YOUR own answers.
Tarot can be used for many different things, from weighing different decisions, dealing with issues about work and personal life, finding your gifts and strengths, meeting your challenges, to jump-start your creative writing/art-making and of course, it can be a great tool for your spiritual development.
I am fortunate that Tarot is very popular right now and easily accessible. You can search for decks to purchase on Amazon, or even print your own at home. You can meet people online and in real life who are interested in Tarot. You can learn how to read Tarot on YouTube! It’s a wonderful time to be alive and interested in this stuff :).
There is a thriving community of Tarot peeps on Instagram. There are monthly challenges that you can join to develop your reading skills. Tarot challenges were wonderful for me as a beginner. It’s been a few months since I joined a challenge, but that is mostly due to lack of time and not lack of interest.
I have used Tarot to get a reading of the energies for the month ahead and also to help me reflect on the month that just ended. I read Tarot for dark moons, new moons, and full moons. I will also sometimes pull a daily card just to help me center and ground when I am feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I have used Tarot to communicate with my house. That was one of the most interesting and unusual things I’ve used Tarot for.
If you read Tarot, what is the most interesting/unusual reading you have done?
In December of 2018 I heard about the Depth Year and thought that was a great idea to continue on what I had started doing some months prior to December, which was to reduce my consumption of spiritual tools (tarot and oracle decks, crystals, etc.) and use the many tools I have acquired throughout the years. You can see my initial ideas and plans for my Depth Year here.
When I decided to embark on a Depth Year, I made some goals for myself:
Use 12 tarot decks that I have not used
Work with one or two crystals I already own per month
Finish reading Holistic Tarot
Finish the coaching class I purchased
Spend more time writing
Read a book once a month
Read the books/articles I have on the chakras
Use my Desire Map Planner
Do the Desire Map Workbooks
Spend more time creating offline
I can say that I have been successful in making progress in most of my goals. I have been using decks I owned and previously did not use. I usually chose one or two decks per month and this allows me to really get to know the energy of the cards and infuse them with my energy. I am not going to lie, I have bought/traded more decks since starting the Depth Year. But they have been decks in my wishlist and not just random and impulsive buys. In comparison to how much I bought before, I am doing really good!
I have also been limiting myself to working with one crystal per month and have not bought a new crystal for a long time. This working with one crystal per month started many months ago for me. In the beginning, I remember really struggling to stick to one crystal, it has become so much easier now. I will usually pick the crystal that attracts me the most from my collection, this month it is amethyst. Then I will set an intention for what I hope to accomplish during the month. This month’s work with amethyst I am being intentional about developing my psychic and intuitive abilities, strengthening my third eye chakra, and I am also using amethyst to keep my cool at work :).
I have also been dedicating more time to my writing. I set up a calendar reminder on my phone for Dianna’s writing time every Saturday and Sunday morning. Sometimes it’s not easy waking up, but my hubby is supportive and will usually encourage me to wake up and write before the girls wake up. I have also been creating often and it has really helped me keep my mental and emotional sanity.
I’m trying to get back into the habit of reading a book at least once a month. I recently finished Light is the New Black by Rebecca Campbell. I am now reading The Book of Goddess by Kris Waldherr. I am using my Desire Map Planner almost daily. I’m slowly working my way through Holistic Tarot.
Overall my Depth Year is going well. I can say that “narrowing” my focus has been very beneficial as it allows me to get more out of whatever I am learning and doing. This narrowing of focus is really contrary to how I usually work. I love to have a wide focus because I want to see everything and find the connections between things. But, I think it’s a good idea for me to learn to use a narrow focus when I need it. That’s it for my Depth Year update. Are you also doing a Depth Year or would like to do a Depth Year? I’d love to read your opinion and thoughts in the comments!
In February, I devoted my crystal connection to a pretty potent stone known as amazonite. If you research the metaphysical properties of amazonite online, you will read that it helps you connect with your authentic self. I can say that each time I have pick up amazonite to work with, this has been true for me.
Connecting with the energy of amazonite always leads me in the direction of finding my self. It sounds very easy doesn’t it? “Carry some amazonite around, it will help you connect to your real authentic self!” But what the instructions don’t tell you is that in order to connect to your real authentic self, the other self (the fake self) you have been living with, building up, and introducing to your friends and acquaintances has to go.
This “side effect” of working with amazonite is not as glamorous as connecting to your authentic self, but it’s a non-negociable part of the journey. For me this journey to my authentic self always begins with the question: what am I doing with my life? Followed by these other equally imposing questions: Am I doing what I am meant to be doing? Am I sharing my gifts for the benefit of the word? Am I following my passion and living my life purpose?
I’m not going to lie, when these questions become alive in my heart and my mind it causes me a lot anxiety and emotional distress. I journal a lot. I talk to my loved ones. I begin planning and writing in detail where I think I want to go and how I can get there as quickly as possible. I am forced to face the reality of my life. I have to look at myself as objectively as I can. If I am not careful, I will start berating myself for not being where I think I am meant to be.
This time around my journey to myself did not end with me beating myself up for not living my dream life. This time, I rested in the knowledge that I am in just the right place, doing the right thing, talking to the right people who need me in their life at this moment. But in order to arrive at this conclusion I had to answer all the above questions and be uncomfortable for some time while the process of re-discovery was taking place.
If you feel that your life is not going in the right direction or you feel stuck, or you feel like a fake, I highly recommend working with the energy of amazonite to help you along. If you have worked with amazonite, I’d love to read about your experience in the comments!
Over on Instagram, I am participating on Small Rebellious Acts of Creativity (#SRAOC) by The Jar Writer’s Collective, a weekly invitation to engage in small rebellious acts of creativity, as the name implies. I will be doing a combination of poetry, short story, art, digital collage, and photo editing. This week’s prompt is ‘the way home’.
The Way Home. (Photo from pexels.com, edited by me using Pixlr.)
The Way Home
Strolling in the shop, I came upon a dainty sign that read “The Way Home”. It had an arrow pointing towards a bloated red heart adorned by angel feathers. “So cliche”, I shrugged. Damn these saccharine Valentine’s-Day-Capitalist-Slaps-On-The-Face. But inside my chest it would not go unnoticed that my heart truly ached.
I knew I had lost my way home a long time ago. I frankly didn’t know what or where home was for me. Maybe I read too much into that sign. “Home is where the heart is. What the hell does that even mean? Who even needs a home or a heart anyway.” I soothed myself as I exit the seasonal aisle.
The damage was done. My mind would betray me by playing seemingly innocent scenes from my childhood. My well trained mind knew just which scenarios to skip over or fast forward to. How long had it been? I’ve lost count of the years since I’ve felt at home anywhere.
A few weeks ago marked the end of the #30dayswithMary practice. I hesitate to even write that sentence, because I feel that my walking with Mary will never really end.
Many of us who were walking together felt sadness about the conclusion of the 30 days. While I felt sad, I also felt comforted in knowing that the connections I made with my fellow travelers in the last thirty days are long-lasting and will continue even after the hashtag is no longer present in my feed.
As for my relationship with Mary, I can say that Mary will be my companion for many years to come. In this post, I’m just going to share some highlights of the 30 days and explore how I might continue my journey with Mary.
I remember at the beginning of the 30 days, during the mantra recitation, I felt a change in the energy outside of myself, in the area where I had set up the altar. I am not used to feeling energies or presences so my fear quickly took over and the presence disappeared. I didn’t feel any energies outside of myself after that, because I understood that the presence I was seeking was always inside of me and every night when I went to meet Mary, I was actually meeting Mary within myself.
At some point in the 30 days I began to sing the mantra. The first time I sang the mantra I unlocked something inside myself. I opened a door that I didn’t even realize was there. I felt feelings I had not allowed myself to feel and realize what healing I needed to work on. Most of my feelings involved my role as mother and daughter. I am still working through those feelings and I might be brave enough to share them in the future.
One of my favorite parts of the practice was the opportunity to make soul collage cards, like the one in the photos above. I’ve always had a love of photo editing and this love was reawakened thanks to the #30dayswithMary practice.
During the final days of the #30dayswithMary practice I began working on a set of 10 personal oracle cards. I used photo editing/collage to create them. I will do a separate blog post to share that project, but I feel that the cards were influenced by my experience in the walking with Mary days, so they hold a special place for that reason.
Through this practice and thanks to Hettienne’s wonderful guidance, I learned how to set up an altar and conduct a ritual. We also met many representations of Mary, but there is still so much more to explore.
In summary, I am thankful for having the opportunity to participate in this 30 days journey and for sharing the experience with other like-minded people from the tarot community on Instagram. I am hoping that Hettienne hosts this practice again next year.